The past and the present

Today I got to talk to an old friend that I do not get to talk to very often. It was nice to talk to him. I like to hear what he has been doing because it makes me feel more connected even though we are several states apart. He had more new things to talk about than I did. I basically said that things are going pretty much the same for me - I am still working - I have another sinus allergy cold thing going on (I get them at least 3 times a year) - I still live the same place - I still have the same friends - I still am single - etc. etc. etc.

As you may have guessed, after talking to him I felt kind of lame because I did not have anything exciting to talk about, like his first solo fight in a helicopter (he has been taking lessons). He has a girlfriend right now and I am single ( that one bothers me in more ways than one but that is for another post someday, or not).

So I was kind of feeling a little blue as I was driving home (his phone call had caught me waiting at Walgreen's for a prescription to be filled). I started thinking about all the things I have not done in the past and started feeling like the future is going to full of missed opportunities too. The more I thought about that the more I got angry with my self. I was already writing off the future as if it was the past, when all I can really do is live in the present. I can have plans and dreams but I also need to live one day at a time, not skip over them as if they are not valuable. Each day is valuable simply for the fact that they are one more day I got to live, there are plenty of people that don't get to live as long as I have (not to say that I am old, but that is the point, I am not old and yet compared to some people my life is long)

So I think I have sufficiently scolded myself for the night and I am going to take some of my new meds for my redundant sinus/head cold thing, and get to bed so that I can hopefully wake up to another day of living.